More Random Shit

Some things can be cheaper out on, the following cannot. Coke, liquor, garbage bags, presents for girlfriends, condoms (If they are on sale for being expired just leave them. Gambling is only fun if your winning. I am a little depressed I wrote a few blogs, shouldn't I be famous by now. Being a gay dude would be super awesome, girls would let me touch them a lot more. Lost was an awesome show, the second time the mystery is gone but you see a lot of hints and for shadowing. I have a feeling alot of nerds were let down when the saw Zena nude in the Spartacus series. Superstar athletes should not be sign to long term huge contracts. 5 years max to see if they actually pay off. Mirrors and cell cameras are a great combo. The next bbq I buy is gonna have a natural gas line, this refilling tanks is horseshit. Working at a landfill would suck, I can't handle the smells. Cats are way smarter than dogs, but dogs are a lot nicer. If you buy a booth at a pop culture fair please don't just sell old used dirty toys, you look stupid. Kate Upton is too hot, I think she might be a robot. Whatever happened to Mel Gibson? So a man accused of killing a 15 year old girl and sexually assaulting her was acquitted, now he is arrested again for the same type of homicide. Think he was guilty the first time?? And kudos to whoever it was that assaulted him in the court house. Nikki Minaj you acre the fuck outta me, you to Mr Gaga. What happened to Courntey Love? Did anyone ever figure out how Sandra Bullock ended up with Jesse James? Look up jungle fart on urban dictionary it is awesome.If you punch out a guy at a bar, find out later he is gay is that a hate crime? Really is he an asshole first or a queer? Thats all I got for today, maybe I can do an actual blog about something tomorrow.

Todays Random Thoughts

Dear Betty White, it was great you had a SNL comeback. But lets call that, that and end this madness go back to the retirement castle. Jason Vorhees does have better acting skills than the entire cast of twilight. Jacob is soooo dreamy, wait that was supposed to be a private thought. Taxes really suck, until you need to go to the hospital. The hospital sucks though cause of the crazies and the hypochondriacs. Good Vodka is great other than that Vodka is awful. I want a tattoo but chinese symbols scream douche and at 70 I doubt I will still want a flaming skull. If I had been in the air force maybe. Track suits are only for real athletes and wops from NY, not suburban Canada. 4 X 4 is the greatest thing I ever bought! Cell phone companies are modern day gangsters, this is like their prohibition. I want a cat again, they really are the best pet. Smarter than dogs, more cuddly than fish and legal unlike the monkey I really want. Wouldn't it be awesome to have a Lynx guarding your house? Fuck you alarm company, I have a 300 lbs killing machine. Rap needs someone like Tupac again and sadly Justin Beiber is still alive. The Simpsons had their run. I did love them, I can remember when it was a treat to stay up past my bed time in elementary to watch them. I will be 31 this year, they kinda lost any edge or relevance they had. The occupy movement really needs to go away, it is even popping up as a joke on sitcoms and cop shows. Batwings suck. They need to invent a new drink. Like beer but with a much better flavour but less booze than rye or rum or vodka. Strippers are great entertainment, so are casinos. But they cost so much. It is sad that some of the worlds nicest people are dumb and a lot of the worst people are clever. There is some real disturbing porn out there. I would like a top hat or a fedora, but I don't think I could pull it off. I don't think racial slurs should be used by the people it is a slur against. If your using it why can't I? Shovelling is for suckers, soon as I am rich I am done with it. I heard it said no honest person ever gets rich, thats BS. The richest people I know are too honest. I miss 80's Metallica, GnR also Rage against the machine and old Eminem and Hed p.e. Raspberry jam is the only jam worth eating

I love / Outlaw yoga pants

It is seriously unfair, women have a new weapon. Men don't there is nothing that makes my lowly beer gut go away. Well it isn't new now but they are out there, yoga pants are out there. Lulu and TNA have seriously made my life better and much worse at the same time. Look up, they are the wonder bras of asses. I recently even had a woman tell me they are the devil. A gross ass can slide into a pair and look like Kim fucking Kardashian. Which really should be a gift! But when you sit and think about it, it isn't. Let me explain.....

Look at that! Really look! Yes she has a great everything but those pants really highlight it. I personally think I am an ass man so this yoga pant craze is even worse for me. It used to be the whale tail, drew me every time but now its the yoga pants. And as I said before they can make a terrible ass decent. So it really is nice for girls with decent asses. They start to look phenomenal. So we both win! Guys like to ogle and women feel better with more confidence... Any sport is better with yoga pants. Hockey.. Damn I don't wanna catch her on a break away I like to watch. Golf, oh great swing and I have a reason to look at you from behind. Pool, yes bend over that table it is a long shot. Running, sure I will chase that rabbit. Also there is the whole yoga thing, I mean they were invented for that. You can wear them an feel comfort as you get in shape, butt I think there was a hidden motive. (Ha see what I did there! God I need to get out more.)

This is the real problem... This is a true story. I went to my coffee shop the other day for a lunch drink. I talked to the normal kinda scary middle aged women with dreadlocks and facial piercings. From the corner of my eye I noticed a pair of pants like grey.... Look up! See it! I kinda ignored dreads and stared at grey. Then I noticed Dreads was scowling, which is new cause she loves me I actually tip. PS tip at decent coffee shops, if you don't they will just raise the prices another buck no coffee is worth 6 bucks. Anyways grey turned around and smiled at me with her braces. BRACES!!!! Shit, I felt real old and real dirty. Yoga pants should not be legal until you are of legal age. End, nope serious that is entrapment. If you can't buy booze or do porn you really shouldn't be aloud yoga pants. Next is another truth. There is too much or too little booty, these pants hide it. If you are lucky enough to get them on your bedroom floor, they really can lead to disappointment. WTF, were did you hide all that? Or, Ummm wasn't there a curve down here? These yoga pants they are a tricky trap.

Ya, ya this is a weak blog. The pics are by far the best part but I did wanna try out this pasting pic option and see how it works. I doubt anyone is upset by the material. Also the dude above has the best job ever and I would bet he really isn't a yoga guru. I can't see him touching his toes.

And the sad downside to Hockey

I love hockey, anyone who read my blogs will know that. I somehow seem to mention it in everyone. I play in a Co-ed league, a mens ball league and outdoor shinny. My girlfriend is slowly learning to hate the NHL video games. This goes with most of my friends, we all love it. May and June my female roommates hate the TV and the playoffs. But sadly in some people it brings out the worst, even I slip and I see my friends slip but to be fair here is some of the bad shit hockey does.

Hockey parents. Sometimes it doesn't seem like it but I do understand drive and desire. I don't have kids but I can see how some parents want their kids to be stars. True fact the Cros likely had parents who pushed him. Ovi sure did. Another true fact there are only 30 teams in the NHL. To keep math easy say a team has 20 players. 600, thats all 600 pro players. Be generous 800. In any major Canadian city there are at least that many kids in hockey. Thats just Canada, you still got USA, Russia, Sweden, Finland, Czech at least with kids trying to make it as a hockey player... Sorry to countries I didn't mention, I know you have kids to who will make the NHL. So now be honest, even if your kids is a big deal in your city he is only a big fish in a small pond. So why be douches? No the ref doesn't always make the best, but insulting him how does that help? If anything more calls are gonna go against you. Other hockey parents acting like an ass??? It is mirror, I love watching 2 moms or dads start beaking each other. They each think the other is a dumbass and everyone watching is like oh shit what a pair of asses. Also in house hockey I agree each kid gets even time, fair perfect. If however your kid moves up to rep hockey, don't bitch about ice time to the coach. Hockey is a team sport and everyone has a role. The coach decides that I hate watch people say my kid needs more ice time. You think people demanding more ice time in the NHL get it?? Sadly hockey makes hockey parent who irk me....

Fun leagues, sadly even fun leagues can get shitty. I know so good hockey players, keep in mind the didn't even get drafted but they can dominate normal games. After 3 goals, one promised not only not to shoot anymore but only to set up women. (sorry ladies).  When other teams complain how good they are they don't bitch, lol they only set up women. (sorry again ladies) To me that is the mark of a hockey player. However I have noticed it more in fun leagues less skill people get mad when they suck. I have seen guys run girls into boards. Start pushing matches in ZERO contact leagues, even try to fight after the games. Really? Really? Ya hockey is a intense sport and it suck to lose but really?? A co-ed fun league and you act like that? Trust me, I know scouts aren't at my mens games so they sure aren't at co-ed. Also being a bad loser can happen. If you can't shake hands after a fun game your a disgrace to our game. And whining, if it is called for I guess is okay in fun leagues. But you can't whine and then do what your whining about.

Beer / Mens leagues. It has happened before, in a very high tier mens ball league / ice leagues a player made the NHL. This is not you! There is a need to play your best, be intense, talk smack! Thats hockey, but dirty hits? Come on, your likely a working smuck going home to your wife and kids after the game. So is the guy you just wrecked, now he is hurt and has to deal with that while trying to make the same living you are. Most jobs don't cover rec hockey injuries for time off. And after game shit, thats just retarded. (sorry retards, I didn't mean to offend.) Your not a hockey player if you are fighting in the parking lot after, your just a moron.

Drunks. Yes I have been in this category. And done dumb shit. But not like the champ drunks, who don't  even watch or play hockey but use it as an excuse to be fucking morons. Montreal, Edmonton, Vancouver. Riots? Really? This one is hard to even blame on hockey or booze. That is just the bad apples, (can't believe I just used grandpas word.) Not gonna lie, I liked shirts off for Horcoff! It was a friend of mine who started the blue mile website. But not at Rexall. My take is people are gonna be stupid with civic pride no matter what sport. So what if women wanna flash? AT a bar! So what if guys wanna get drunk and try to invent a team shooter? In bars thats fine and real fans aren't gonna riot, they realize how dumb that is. So I guess I can't blame hockey, just stupid people.

IN the end, it isn't hockey that causes problems. It is stupid people, who missed their chance or never had one. People who have issues and hockey just brings it out. Dear hockey, your excused thanks again for being awesome and showing us who real stupid people are.

Hockey, The greatest game in Canada

So I just got home from the neighbourhood rink, played 2 hours of hockey. With kids, boys and girls from five to adult. All different skill levels and yet they all got along. It was the same for the adults, I am by no means a good hockey player, I wasn't the worst there but far from the best. We all played together people joked around, poked fun at bad plays and cheered good plays. Even for the other team. Not kidding it felt like a Timmy Hoes commercial and I realized why hockey is the best sport ever and why it is so important to Canada. Here are some of the lessons I learned. I am gonna be honest though, I am not gonna say some poor handicapped kid stopped by we let him play and he scored a game winner. Then died a day later but happy. I hate those heart warming, tear jerking fake stories. I am just saying what I really saw.

Fair play and encouragement is fundamental hockey. Shiny first off you don't hit. Sure in the big league we love a good hit, but thats not what hockey is about. I was lined up a few times and coulda been a grease stain but players let it go cause its about fun, second the encouragement. I have a great deal of (misguided) faith i could stop a 10 year old boy but I didn't. Shiny demands you let them get the thrill of deking through people. As kids get a little older and more skilled, yes people try a bit harder but every kid deserves that break out chance. Sure all bets are off when I try but for the kids this is a huge deal... Why don't they ever let me break out!

Civil behaviour. I mean I slowed down my motor mouth. I love the words Cunt, Fuck, ball sack, anal beads, your moms hairy twat!!! But I didn't say it. Well maybe once but a friend punched me in the back and pointed toward kids. I have made an ass of myself on golf course, restaurants, movie theatres, city fucking streets but on the rink nope. A censor jumped right into my mouth and not in a gay way! Also I love drinking, I am a champ at it. Not for shiny though, yes we had a beer before we went but didn't bring any. We brought water bottles, drinking and being a dumbass if frown HEAVILY upon.

Doing shit! Seriously people getting out and being active is great these days. I play a ton of vids, I spend days on the couch eating junk and watching movies. Moving around, getting the blood flowing is good not only for the soul but for the heart. Not a metaphor! Also you might just meet your neighbours, ya those people who live next door. Sometimes you say or shovel the walk a bit. Maybe they are pretty decent people who you might like and get along with like happened in the past. Not the ones you occasionally smile at and then lock your doors.

Last point, even though I could make many more and it doesn't have to do with shiny but with Hockey and with Canada. We love it, we live it. The 72 summit series? Who hasn't heard about that? The Crosby goal that won gold! People jumped on tables when he beat the Americans, at least in the pub I was in. World Juniors, some of our favourite heroes became heroes there. It seems across the biggest nation in the world, with a million different races, religions, politics we almost all seem to get behind our hockey icons and that really is a big deal.