It is seriously unfair, women have a new weapon. Men don't there is nothing that makes my lowly beer gut go away. Well it isn't new now but they are out there, yoga pants are out there. Lulu and TNA have seriously made my life better and much worse at the same time. Look up, they are the wonder bras of asses. I recently even had a woman tell me they are the devil. A gross ass can slide into a pair and look like Kim fucking Kardashian. Which really should be a gift! But when you sit and think about it, it isn't. Let me explain.....
Look at that! Really look! Yes she has a great everything but those pants really highlight it. I personally think I am an ass man so this yoga pant craze is even worse for me. It used to be the whale tail, drew me every time but now its the yoga pants. And as I said before they can make a terrible ass decent. So it really is nice for girls with decent asses. They start to look phenomenal. So we both win! Guys like to ogle and women feel better with more confidence... Any sport is better with yoga pants. Hockey.. Damn I don't wanna catch her on a break away I like to watch. Golf, oh great swing and I have a reason to look at you from behind. Pool, yes bend over that table it is a long shot. Running, sure I will chase that rabbit. Also there is the whole yoga thing, I mean they were invented for that. You can wear them an feel comfort as you get in shape, butt I think there was a hidden motive. (Ha see what I did there! God I need to get out more.)
This is the real problem... This is a true story. I went to my coffee shop the other day for a lunch drink. I talked to the normal kinda scary middle aged women with dreadlocks and facial piercings. From the corner of my eye I noticed a pair of pants like grey.... Look up! See it! I kinda ignored dreads and stared at grey. Then I noticed Dreads was scowling, which is new cause she loves me I actually tip. PS tip at decent coffee shops, if you don't they will just raise the prices another buck no coffee is worth 6 bucks. Anyways grey turned around and smiled at me with her braces. BRACES!!!! Shit, I felt real old and real dirty. Yoga pants should not be legal until you are of legal age. End, nope serious that is entrapment. If you can't buy booze or do porn you really shouldn't be aloud yoga pants. Next is another truth. There is too much or too little booty, these pants hide it. If you are lucky enough to get them on your bedroom floor, they really can lead to disappointment. WTF, were did you hide all that? Or, Ummm wasn't there a curve down here? These yoga pants they are a tricky trap.
Ya, ya this is a weak blog. The pics are by far the best part but I did wanna try out this pasting pic option and see how it works. I doubt anyone is upset by the material. Also the dude above has the best job ever and I would bet he really isn't a yoga guru. I can't see him touching his toes.
No comments:
Post a Comment