So you can learn from mind numbing video games in two ways, or I have learned things in two ways from them. First what the plots can teach and second what playing can teach, so below is what i have learned from plots and from playing.
Plots - Plumbers love mushrooms and sometimes they see stars and think they are bears or socks or even frogs. These guys take fours years of school.... It is possible to carry guns, bats, knives (all at once!) kill hookers and beat cops as long as you can get your car painted in 10 seconds you will totally get away with it!I have learned to hate Corey Perry, he never passes to me. Kevin Bieksa is a pussy (We already knew that) You don't need any talent to make it in a band just awesome clothes and a few buttons on a guitar. If your ever fighting a mythical creature, you have roughly thirty seconds to scroll through an enormous selection of weapons and various spells you may need. If you ever see a car turn into a bullet, just get out of the way. Also ditto if you notice any colour of a turtle shell coming at you. Getting two swords attached by chains to your arms is AWESOME. Any person who kicks ass and is in a costume so they can't be identified as male or female is really a hot chick under it all, feel free to dream about her. Aliens and zombies really suck! If you ever hear someone yell finish him! a long and stupid process will let you do funky shit. Magic swords rule, men in green outfits not so much. You cannot kill a polar bear with a hunting knife, don't try. Auto save can both suck and rule depending on the game, if you wanted to retry or do better it really screws you. The world of illegal street racing is huge and any car can be souped up to a speed demon. Robots also suck and are plotting to take over our world.
Playing - It is always a bad idea to drink and play any game were people fight each other. 4 drunk guys and a UFC game is a bad idea. If your girl comes out in a slinky outfit it is best to stop whatever game, even if you aren't at a save point. Wii fit taught me I am not fit. Online I learned there are way too many 30 to 40 year old virgins, and todays youth are telephone tough guys with shitty attitudes. Never leave the couch for a snack or piss cause your not getting your spot back.(Farting may help, don't push to hard.) If your going to own a game system you might as well buy a huge hi def TV and surround sound. Drinks and wii games should be kept far apart. Parties can be killed late at night by turning on video games. Never play lame music when gaming, Michael Bolton and mortal combat do not mix. Pausing any game for a small period of time can burn images into the TV, this can lead to fights. Steaks burn when left unattended. Pot can be a performance enchanting drug, if you are doing something that you do not need to move more than your fingers for. In apartments neighbours don't like hearing screams of joy or anger. They also don't like sex noises but videos games can seriously cut down on those anyhow. I need a new hobby.
No comments:
Post a Comment